Loving Lydia

Just checking

2007-08-13T23:04:00.001-05:00

Let's see...

WE'VE MOVED

2006-08-27T10:53:00.000-05:00

Loving Lydia is now at

http://lovinglydia.typepad.com/loving_lydia/

Halloween Preview!

2006-08-27T09:17:00.000-05:00

She's gonna be gorgeous!

Her boyfriend

2006-08-26T20:50:00.000-05:00

I was talking on the phone today to my mom and she asked me..."Does Lydia really hold hands and hug this little boy or are you making that up?" Like I would traumatize my hubby on purpose...oh yeah, I would...but that's not the point, the point is, there really is a Dalton and they really do love each other. They hug, they hold hands, they kiss and they look out for each other bigtime. Dalton was gone when Lydia was bitten, he had been gone sick for a few days...and when he returned, Lydia felt more at ease. Ironically, so did I. Not that I want my little girl to be the princess in the tower type who needs someone to protect her, I want her to take care of herself...but it's always good when you've got friends to watch your back!

Please forgive the quality of the picture, it's a photo of a photo.

It's much better to be the chewer than it is to be the chewie.

2006-08-24T18:13:00.000-05:00

Especially when you're chewing on doughnuts!

Someday's being a mommy is really tough

2006-08-22T21:30:00.000-05:00

A little boy bit Lydia's face. Tore a chunk right out of her cheek. Not huge, but big enough...about the size of a pencil eraser. The doctor said as long as it doesn't get infected it shouldn't scar, but we have to keep a close watch on it as bites from humans are more dangerous than bites from animals.

I wanted to cry and scream when I saw her. She had blood all over her shirt and her face was swollen until about an hour ago. But I had to keep calm cause she's already freaked out because a little boy knocked her over and pinned her down simply because she had a cookie (it was hers) and he tried to take it from her when his was gone and she wouldn't give hers up.

The daycare is freaking out big time. They say they've never had anything like this happen, and while I believe them their repeated apologies don't make her face any better.

Russell is mad, I'm upset...and Lydia, well she's tough...my tough little girl who keeps pointing to her face and saying boo boo over and over and insists we put bandaids all over her body, but who won't let another child near her.

Me, I'm a mess.

Harry Potter, eat your heart out!!

2006-08-20T16:15:00.000-05:00

Look what I can do!!

2006-08-18T20:36:00.000-05:00

So for the last few weeks Lydia has been telling us when it's time to change her diaper. A big deal as she was the child who would sit in her own poo for hours if we let her. But even more recently (the last few days) Lydia has been telling us when she's about to use her diaper...so Russell and I decided to break out the potty we had got her for her birthday early. And tonight when she told us she was about to use the potty we put her on the potty and about 60 seconds later VIOLA' our first real potty! I'm not saying she's potty trained...but it's the first step into a whole new world of independance for our girl. It's strange how emotional and joy stirring something as simple and mundane a little urine in a plastic pot can make you feel: a lot of happy, a little of sad and a whole bunch of proud.

The$64,000 Question

2006-08-17T06:52:00.000-05:00

What was Lydia doing last night as she slept to get her sleeper looking like this in the morning??

The colour of her skin

2006-08-15T06:47:00.000-05:00

When we were in China, almost a year ago, it was evident Lydia looked different than many other Chinese. Most of these differences are subtle to our western eye, but evident to many of the people we met in China. While we were in Guangzhou one woman working at the pearl market even excitedly pointed to Lydia and repeated over and over "Guangxi Baby" as she called over her coworker to look at Lydia as we passed.

While we know Lydia is from a Chinese ethnic minority, we haven't really thought much about it since China. We did some research before we left for China, but parenthood has been overwhelming and we've not done much more exploring about the Zhuang since coming home.

Recently though we went to the Nashville zoo and while there we ran into a large group who adopted about a year before we did from different agencies who shared a common DTC and formed a support group. The children all had darker skin and hair than Lydia. They all had that familiar Han look and they all commented on how different Lydia looked and how pale she was. It reminded me that not only is my daughter Chinese, my daughter is Zhuang and how important it is she know about their sub-culture. So, while we continue to research and embrace China in general Russell and I are now on a Zhuang quest of sorts. We are looking for information about the Zhuang to share with Lydia. We feel it's important she know who she is so she can love herself as much as we love her.

Clowning around with Playdough

2006-08-13T03:00:00.000-05:00

Well, at least she isn't eating it. :-)

What going to "Build a Bear" is really worth!

2006-08-08T15:22:00.000-05:00

Raven haired wig...$5.50

"Authentic" Disney Princess dress...$15

Monkey that you stuff yourself...$22

Baby comes home only to play with the box...PRICELESS

Build a Bear

2006-08-07T19:56:00.000-05:00

Build a Bear isn't just where you build a toy, you build a friend. Here is Lydia's first Build a Bear experience. She was excited at first, but by the end, the noise was getting to her. We picked a monkey friend, since Lydia was born in the year of the monkey and dressed it in Snow White clothes as they were the most colourful and Lydia's favourite!

Lydia pushed the peddle (with a little help) herself to stuff her Build A Bear monkey.

Here she is handing the associate who was assisting in the building the heart she picked out for her monkey.

Once your new friend is built, you give them a bath.

After you dress your friend you give them a name. When I asked Lydia what she wanted to name her, she signed Wiggles (her favourite TV show) so Wiggles was named!

Lydia with Daddy and Wiggles

Farewell My Concubine

2006-08-07T08:48:00.000-05:00

A Partial Film Review by James Berardinelli

Farewell My Concubine spans fifty-three years, presenting the lives of two men against the historical backdrop of a country in upheaval. Initially banned in China but shown to international acclaim, Chen Kaige's film is one of the year's true masterpieces. Deserving of its award at Cannes and of its prominent position in 1993's New York Film Festival, Farewell My Concubine is a motion picture experience that few will soon forget after leaving the theater.

In 1924 Beijing, the youthful Douzi and Shitou are brought together under the thumb of the strict master of a small acting troupe. It quickly becomes apparent that these are the most talented of the master's pupils, and he pushes them harder than his other students. Thirteen years later, their suffering has paid off. Douzi, now going by the name of Chen Dieyi (Leslie Cheung), and Shitou, called Duan Xiaolou (Zhang Fengyi), are major opera stars, and their production, "Farewell My Concubine" is nationally known. The two are inseparable, until the woman Juxian (Gong Li) comes between them.

Russell and I just recently saw this film and it was incredibly good. While "not for everybody" this film sets interesting characters into historical and cultural context in 20th century China. A must see for anyone who is interested in learning more about Chinese culture!

More Zoo Pictures

2006-08-07T06:42:00.000-05:00

Merecats are fascinating animals. They have complex social structures. Some leaders others, guards, babsitters and construction/maintanance...this merecat was a guard.

Red Panda's like this one Lydia's watching are indigenous to China.

Us at the unseen world where they feature fish, reptiles, insects, amphibians and small birds.

One of the larger lizards at the unseen world.

Daddy and Lydia watching her favourite, the alligators.

Zoo

2006-08-06T12:52:00.000-05:00

The zebras are one of my favourites, and apparently one of Lydia's too!

It looked like Lydia was trying to get to the Zebras for a ride!

The alligators were her favourite!

Here she is trying to hug the alligators!

Since Lydia's birthday is so close to adoption day we've opted to celebrate July 28th (our referral day) as family day. Last weekend we planned to have a big trip to Nashville to the zoo etc. to celebrate, but unfortunately the brakes on the car didn't cooperate and we had to postpone. So this weekend we had our belated family day celebration. After work on Friday we packed up and made off for Nashville. We pretty much got up with the animals and were one of the first ones to visit. My allergies went nuts--but it was worth every second as Lydia loved seeing all the animals. Her favourite by far was the alligators. She thought they were facsinating and we had to drag her away. She didn't like the unseen world though--not sure why. The animals didn't bother her, but the space did--so much to mine and Russell's disappointment we got out of there pretty fast. (Russ and I use to have tarantulas. I just love spiders and arachnids!)

Daddy's Little Helper

2006-08-02T20:22:00.000-05:00

A heaping pile of love!

2006-07-31T19:57:00.000-05:00

What's more fun than wrestling with your family?

Not much. :-)

Wannabe

2006-07-30T21:24:00.000-05:00

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want...

Lydia is still not a big talker. She has some words, but usually she communicates with sign language over spoken word. We have had her evaluated, and so far the speech therapist has told us while she may be slow to speak her comprehension is good so we shouldn't worry just yet. Lydia's sign language for the most part is of her own making. She is teaching us her signs while we teach her our words. One of her favourite signs right now is glasses. She loves wearing my glasses and will ask me if it's okay for her to put them on. Here she is asking...and receiving. ;-)

Domestic Adoption in China

2006-07-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

GEOFFREY YORK

BEIJING -- When he saw the poignant photos of orphans on an adoption agency website this year, Sun Xiaoping yearned to adopt one of them.
to adopt Chinese babies, including a voluminous list of answers to frequently asked questions. But under "domestic adoption," the FAQ file is completely blank, and other information is scanty.

But even as China experiences a dramatic rise in foreign adoption of its children, many Chinese couples are left out in the cold. In 2005, only about 38,000 children were adopted by Chinese families --a relatively small number for a country of 1.3 billion people.

Chinese policies are supposed to favour domestic adoptions. Yet there is strong evidence that foreigners get preferential treatment -- largely because their payments are more lucrative. Despite the
national policy, many Chinese orphanages have set up unofficial barriers to discourage Chinese families from adopting their orphans.

"Chinese orphanages give priority to foreign families, rather than to Chinese families," said Wu Jianying, director of the Beijing office of Children's Hope International, a U.S.-based adoption agency. "Orphanages can get more money from foreigners than from Chinese. Each foreign family usually donates around $3,000 (U.S.) to the orphanage. The amount donated by Chinese families is usually
much lower."

Foreigners who want to adopt Chinese babies have myriad agencies available to them, all providing a host of services: booking their hotels; providing their transportation; helping with paperwork and
translations; and even taking them on sightseeing tours as they wait for the paperwork to be finished.

Chinese parents find it much tougher. There is no network to support them. Ms. Wu's office, for example, is providing some volunteer help to Chinese parents, but it primarily works for Americans.

"There really isn't any organization or agency providing
consultations and other services for domestic adoptions," she said. "Orphanages usually don't publicize information about their children, because the law doesn't require it. As a result, many Chinese families can't find a child to adopt."

Qiao Cuiping, a 31-year-old engineer in Fujian province, met only frustration when she and her husband contacted Chinese orphanages to
try to adopt. "The orphanages in Fujian all answered that they didn't have healthy children available," she said. "The orphanages outside Fujian asked for large sums of money, around 20,000 yuan [about $2,500 U.S.], which was too expensive for us. The orphanages
are unwilling to help us because they can earn much more in international adoptions."

Ms. Qiao and her husband eventually succeeded in adopting a Chinese baby -- but only because of a newspaper report about an orphaned
girl who was handicapped. By contacting the newspaper, they were able to find the child.

Another woman, a 36-year-old legal-affairs agent in Beijing, says
that she and her husband have spent six months trying to adopt a
baby from a Chinese orphanage, but have been allowed to see only one
child so far. "I know many Chinese people who have turned to private
contacts to find a child," she said. "I haven't heard of anyone who was successful in adopting a child from an orphanage. So I'm considering a private contact as well. I will ask for help from relatives and friends."

Partly because of the barriers to domestic adoptions, China has a thriving system of private and unofficial adoptions, including an underground system of kidnapping and baby-trafficking. Earlier this
year, China admitted that six orphanages in southern China had been purchasing babies since 2002, including the purchase of 78 abducted children last year alone. At least 33 people were punished for their
involvement in the schemes. Foreigners and Chinese families were adopting children from the six orphanages, often for hefty fees.

Ms. Wu, of the Children's Hope agency, said the Chinese government needs to take stronger action to encourage domestic adoptions.

"The government could require that each orphanage must provide as many children to Chinese families as to foreigners," she said. "It could require the orphanages to publicize information about their children on the Internet. It could eliminate the adoption fees for
Chinese families, and it could use its financial subsidies to encourage orphanages to send their children to Chinese families."

Source:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/serv...724.CHINA24/TPS
tory/TPInternational/Asia/

Our dirty little secret

2006-07-29T21:24:00.000-05:00

Okay, true confessions time. I like Chinese food okay fine, but it's really not my favourite. What is my favourite is Japanese food. I'm also a Thai food fan, but Japanese...well it's just THE BEST!! So today we went out and had Japanese food for the first time since we adopted Lydia. It was sinfully good...and Lydia loved it. And honestly, we got her to eat more Japanese than we've ever gotten her to eat Chinese.

Here's Lydia taking her first ever bite of Sushi. It was an Alaskan roll; salmon, avacado and cucumber wrapped in seaweed and rice. She loved it!

Even more than the sushi Lydia liked the Miso soup. Originally ordered by Daddy for Daddy, Lydia totally usurped this portion of his meal. Poor Daddy, but happy baby!

BUSTED!!!

2006-07-29T09:18:00.000-05:00

Well, looks like daddy got caught. Russell left his baby margarita bottle out and Lydia was none too pleased! Looks like daddy's in the dog house!

I hope Mary-Mia's baby from Do They Have Salsa in China? (http://salsainchina.blogspot.com/)is a little more understanding. She'll be seeing her baby's face for the first time very soon and what a great day that will be!
We're all thinking about you Mary-Mia!

July 28, 2005--Family Day

2006-07-28T06:35:00.000-05:00

THEN
"The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the end of the skies"

NOW
"Raise your head up
Lift high the load
Take strength from those that need you
Build high the walls
Build strong the beams
A new life is waiting
Two worlds, one family"

July 27, 2005

2006-07-27T06:18:00.000-05:00

One year ago today I was in Anchorage directing a show for Alaska Theatre of Youth. I was out of touch with the world as the internet was pretty difficult to access from where they had us housed. My last contact with the world told me I should expect an August referral and so, even though I knew referrals were to soon be received by many of my online friends…I waited patiently for August, expecting nothing.

I called Russell at the beginning of lunch that day and spoke with him from the greenroom of the theatre where I ate. He was still in bed while we spoke. I’d woken him up…he was working third shift and of course there was a time difference between Alaska and Kentucky. After we chatted I made my way up to the main level of the theatre to the office so I could pick up the balls I needed for my afternoon rehearsal.

I’m pretty good about turning off my cell phone, but that day I forgot. It was on and it rang in the office. I checked it, fully expecting it to be my stage-manager…but it was Russell. I had JUST spoken to him, so I got excited. “Honey,” I said: “Did we get our…No. I’m sorry…that’s crazy. What’s up? Is something wrong?” He was crying as he said. “The agency just called, we have a daughter!”

I screamed…literally screamed as the people in the office swamped me…I have my baby I have my baby and then I ran outside as over 200 children who were all inside for lunch due to smog alerts (there were BIG fires in Alaska at the time, so the smoke was horrible) began to descend. I knew they weren’t allowed outside…and I needed to hear about my girl. So out into the smokey streets I flew eager to hear every detail.

Is she healthy? How old is she? What is her name? What does it mean? Was she fostered? Do we have a picture? Tell me everything…EVERYTHING!!

Russ answered. She is healthy, She is 9 months old. Her name is Ye Hong Hua. It means red flower. She wasn’t fostered. We will have a picture tomorrow…I don’t know anything else. I love you.

I love you too.

And with that our call was over and our daughter was finally a reality.

Many hugs and kisses and congratulations followed. Tons of red flowers showered me and I waited one more day, not so patiently, for her picture. My first glimpse of Lydia was still to come.

Pigtails and Piggyback Rides

2006-07-26T20:41:00.000-05:00

A Beauty in Blue

2006-07-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

Movin' On Up!

2006-07-23T13:26:00.000-05:00

But it's not to a deluxe apartment in the sky. It's to a toddler bed!

Lydia has outgrown her crib. One day less than a week ago I came into her room to get her up for the morning and found her trying to climb out. (And doing a good job at it, I may add.) So Russell and I had a "sit down" and after lots of crying on my part while I repeated over and over: "She's still just a baby. " and "We haven't even had her a year yet." we decided it was time to convert. Lydia has slept in the converted bed 2 nights now, and so far so good. We've added a security rail. (I insisted.) But otherwise it pretty much looks just like it did after daycare on Friday when Lydia gleefully romped on her new bed.

Reality 101: A required course!

2006-07-20T14:29:00.000-05:00

Recently there was much controversy on the internet about a family that disrupted their adoption. Their child Hannah was smaller than expected, was sick with conjunctivitis and was not thriving in the manner they expected or hoped. After adopting Hannah and being her parents for 3 days, they asked to disrupt their adoption and be assigned another child. Hannah 2.

Honestly...at first I was outraged. Hannah was their daughter and I felt they threw her away. Merely tossed aside like a pair of old shoes and replaced with a newer cleaner more beautiful pair that would look better with their already existing outfit. I was angry at them. VERY.

But, I am the type who feels first and thinks later. It's part of the "artist" in my soul I guess. React then think. Now that I have thought. I am still angry...but not in the same way. I am angry because I have met people who have told me their agencies or their families or someone else has discouraged them from doing research because this research will only "scare" them and keep them from adopting. People I have met currently going through the process are remaining ignorant because they are afraid.

I had a great support network and agency. Neither of which ever encouraged me to sink my head in a hole in the sand and just hope. They told me to remain cautious, but to go out and learn as much as I could. They encouraged me to listen and to see and to know. I, being an academic type probably would have done this anyway. Knowledge is empowering. I knew before I went to China much of what I may face. But I also knew I didn't know everything I may face, and that I needed to be prepared for that as well. I went to China knowing what services were available not only in my town, but nearby cities as well. I had phone numbers of doctors, social workers, and family and friends with me in case I needed advice or support while in China. I brought a borrowed laptop so I could access the web and research any concerns I had about Lydia's health or well being.(And trust me...once she was asleep--I spent a lot of "Gotme Night" online researching some concerns--because Lydia did not come to us completely healthy.)

I think a parent should be scared. Parenting is hard. It's scary. It's a huge responsibility. A life, a precious life, literally in your hands and heart forever. To only tell potential parents good stories is irresponsible. It does the child and the parent a huge injustice. I'm not saying you should focus on only the bad. There is sooooo much joy. I bask in Lydia's light daily...but there is a lot for which parents need to be prepared. To discourage a parent from doing that preparation is unconscionable.

Honestly...I am the type that even if anyone had told me not to seek knowledge, I would of anyway. But many are not that way. Many are trusting and will "do as told" because they fear not receiving what they most desire. Many adoptive parents have faced so much sadness already they don't want to approach the possibility that more may exist. But no matter what we fear we MUST be strong and open our eyes and see. I implore you if you are waiting or paperchasing or contemplating...READ, RESEARCH and KNOW! Go prepared to China. Know what your resources are, even if you think you won't need them. Have numbers to doctors and friends. If you can, bring a research tool with you to China like a laptop. Do it for your child. She needs you to be ready for her...she needs you to be ready for anything.

Attached is a letter from Amy Eldrdige from Love Without Boundaries that mirror my sentiments. They are spoken far more articulately than I ever could speak.

I have been so saddened by this situation. I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that there are just as many parents who are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.

There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat..and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom). I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case.

I talked to at least a dozen parents who didn't even know their child's orphanage name, and while I gently said "you might want to memorize that for your child's sake", at the same time I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues. It was sobering to me.

Babies in the NSN as well as the SN path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. I think all of us on the WCC list acknowledge that, while also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds.

I think the easy out is to say that agencies have to do more, as well as social workers, but I do think that most of them do try to give information to the parents but often parents don't want to hear it or else think it won't happen to them. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was dEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I equate this to when I was pregnant with my kids and I would read "What to Expect When Expecting", and I would get to the C-section part and always skip it. Each and every time I would jump to the next chapter as "that wasn't going to happen to me". Well, on my fifth baby, when they were rushing me in for an emergency C section, I sure was wishing I had read that section earlier! But at that point in the OR, while they were strapping my hands down to the table, it was too late, and so I felt complete panic when I could have been prepared. I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth.. it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC, but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I have been called many times in the last few years by parents in China worried about their children. I agree that having a support network to help you through the initial time is essential. Everyone should go to China with at least one phone number of someone they can call if they are panicked upon meeting their new child. I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported..and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home. It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it..a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage?

Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate?

Of course no one would do that..we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously..and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution. ...even when the aunties are as good as gold. I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight.

The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care. I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there..I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself..she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums.

Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire". When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt. She absolutely was not what they expected. When they called their agency, they were told they had two choices: adopt the child, bring her to the US, and change their expectations of what they were hoping for, or adopt the child, bring her to the US and the agency would have a family waiting at the airport to adopt her locally. Option three of leaving the child in China was never once given. I admire that agency so much, as they were thinking of the child and the child alone. The family followed through with the adoption and handed the little girl to a new family upon her arrival in the US. As horrible and tragic and emotional as it was for everyone involved...I still feel this was the right decision for the agency to make. It was done in the absolute best interest of the child, who had waited a long, long time for a family. I wish more agencies would advocate for the rights of the child, instead of always seeming to give in to the parents, especially in those cases when they know with absolute certainty that nothing is permanently wrong with the child. Recently with another disruption, the agency I spoke with told me that it was "easier" to just get the family a new baby.

Sometimes easier does not equal right. The first baby who was rejected has now been labeled "mentally challenged" even though the agency knew the child was really going to be okay.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work..but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.

Amy E"

Sharing Sammy with Lydia.

2006-07-09T20:35:00.000-05:00

A mass of contradictions, Samantha was the first pet you lost. She was 10 and you weren't even 2. She was very patient with you while you pulled her tail and tried to pick her up. And you loved her and called her "Mantha." Here are some of Mommy's recollections about her best friend who was born with health problems, but who lived well beyond the years the doctors said she would.

Samantha was:
Silent meows but noisy purrs that sounded underwater.
Poofy tails meaning I'm happy but walking at you sideways meant I'm mad.
Trying to kill Daddy when he first moved in but always enjoying company.
Chewing your hand after you showered and licking plastic bags.
Jumping straight up 6 feet high and a patience greater than a saint.
Mousing in the farmhouse and ruling the roost wherever we hung our hat.
Long sharp claws in the back and dainty feet in the front with one tiny claw that hurt as she kneeded you for what seemed like hours.
Her finiky nature toward all cat foods but her great love of Doritos.
A heart too tiny to keep her healthy, but big enough to house all the love in the world.

"Danger, Danger Will Robinson!!!"

2006-07-09T10:33:00.000-05:00

Okay...I know we just went through this, but for a whole different reason.

"Geekbase One" (our laptop) is back in the shop. It will be a week, possibly two before it is returned to our loving home. What's wrong this time? Well...Lydia got a hold of my keys. And since we, being forward thinking parents, covered all the electrical outlets the only hole she could find was the hole in my computer where I normally put the camera disk to retrieve photos. Not knowing the computer had been "violated" by my daughter when I went to plug it in we had...well, a fire. Yes ladies and gents...my computer caught fire. No burns or singes or damage other than my hair is a little whiter and my computer is literally fried.

Fried...yes...oh and what a lovely smell let me tell you. But fortunately computer is still under warrantee and curious baby and silly mommy are safe and soung.

So to recap. The bad news: Loving Lydia will be anywhere from slow to down for one-two weeks because the computer is in the shop. The good news: The computer will be fixed and my keys were not harmed. :-)

A woman's work is never done

2006-07-07T22:00:00.000-05:00

I am not a big housework kinda gal. Russell is the one who usually takes care of the house...and honestly he's not a big housework kinda guy, so our house keeps a perpetual "lived in" look.
Lydia on the other hand is (other than when she eats) a pretty neat kinda gal. She likes her stuff where it belongs and when she's done with it she tends to put it away. Heck she even puts our stuff away too when we (ahem) don't. Here she is helping with the groceries. She loves to help out and we love to let her. :-)

Love Comes In Cinnamon

2006-07-05T20:43:00.000-05:00

Children come in all the colors of the earth.
For love comes in cinnamon, walnut, and wheat,
The roaring browns of bears and soaring eagles,
Love is amber and ivory and ginger and sweet,
The whispering goals of late summer grasses,
Like caramel, and chocolate, and the honey of bees.
And crackling russets of fallen leaves,
The tinkling pinks of tiny seashells by the rumbling sea.
Dark as leopard spots, light as sand,
Children buzz with laughter that kisses our land
Children come with hair like bouncy baby lambs,
With sunlight like butterflies happy and free,
Or hair that flows like water,
Or hair that curls like the sea.
Children come in all the colors of the earth.
They are sleeping cats in snoozy cat colors.
Children come in all the colors of love,
In endless shades of you and me.

A cuddle for the "Fourth"

2006-07-04T19:16:00.000-05:00

Jack must have really missed us when we were living at the academy, because he's even glad to see Lydia. To say the cats love Lydia would be stretching the truth quite a bit. Oz enjoys the attention until she begins poking him with a feather instead of waving the feather to play...but otherwise the cats keep their distance.
Lydia is wearing her flag dress from Uncle Tony. Tony is originally from Italy and Lydia is originally from China...so he said he felt a kinship with her this Fourth of July. It's a cute dress and she, Russell and I appreciate the gift.

Notice Lydia's hairline too everybody. Her "bangs"have pretty much either been non-existant or just fuzz since we adopted her...but now she's starting to get some length!!. It won't be long until I can get out the hairclips and bows! I can hardly wait!

To love one's country with all your heart

2006-07-04T19:11:00.000-05:00

Buddies

2006-07-03T13:22:00.000-05:00

One of the things I loved most about being at the academy for the last month is that normally very shy Lydia came out of her shell some. As the youngest person living in our "community" (have I told you I'm glad to not be living in a dorm anymore?) she was quite the focal point for a lot of attention. She was scared at first but ended up really like the attention. She especially liked the younger members...Christian, Laurean, Ashley and Hannah were her frequent compainions. Here she is with Ashley who loved to hold Lydia anytime she could.

End of Adoptions as One Agency Protests Gay Parents

2006-07-03T13:05:00.000-05:00

Boston Religious Charity Shuts Down Over Conflict With State Law

By GIGI STONE

June 30, 2006 — For 103 years, Catholic Charities of Boston has found homes for tens of thousands of needy children, but tomorrow the adoption agency shuts its doors.

It is closing because of pressure from the Catholic Church, which opposes the Massachusetts law that protects the rights of gay couples to adopt a child.

"We find ourselves in a conflict," said the Rev. Bryan Hehir from Catholic Charities. "The religious, moral principles of Catholic teaching and practice clash with the political and civil regulations of the state."

Churches are increasingly banding together to fight gay adoptions, something George Graham and Michael Fleenor feel personally.

They have been partners for 16 years and adopted their 3-year-old son, Robbie, who was in foster care.

Now they want to adopt another child, but it might not be as easy this time, because legislators in their home state of Ohio have proposed a bill to ban adoption by gay couples.

"We really do feel under pressure," George Graham said. "We feel like there is a window that is possibly closing and once it is closed, it's closed."

States Debate Issues as Children Need Homes

In addition to religious activism on this issue, a groundswell of grassroots activity to ban gay couples from adopting children has led to proposed legislation across the country.

Last year, bills banning adoptions by gay couples were introduced in Alabama, Indiana, Tennessee, Texas and Virginia. All those bills were killed in committee, but some legislators say they're not giving up.

"It's my job as a state legislator to make sure that these children have the best environment and the best household they are able to be placed in, and that is a traditional household with a mom and a dad," said Rep. Paul Stanley, R-Tenn.

But the American Academy of Pediatrics said that a growing body of scientific literature shows that children who grow up with one or two gay and or lesbian parents fare as well in emotional, cognitive, social and sexual functioning as do children whose parents are heterosexual.

The academy has found that children's development seems to be influenced more by the nature of the relationships and interactions within the family unit than by the particular structural form it takes.

The AAP is expected to take a closer look at the legal and financial challenges for the children of same-gender parents in a special article in the journal Pediatrics, due out next week.

There are nearly 126,000 children in foster care who are eligible for adoption each year. Less than half find permanent homes.

"To say, 'Oh, because you're gay you can't or you shouldn't be able to raise a child,' that is horrible," said Karen Brown, a mother who gave her daughter up for adoption.

She added, "If they have the love to give, let them!"

Life goes on

2006-06-29T20:33:00.000-05:00

Up and running--sorta

2006-06-29T13:53:00.000-05:00

We got the computer back up Monday...but honestly I've not written until now because I've been depressed.

My cat Samantha died on Tuesday. She was 10, and sick. She'd been sick since she was born. She's almost died a couple of times. When she was 3, the vet told us she wouldn't likely make it to 4. So I know I was lucky to have her as long as I did. But knowing that doesn't make the losing her any easier.

I miss her. Before there was Russell there was Samantha. He stole her side of the bed. She eventually forgave him that...but not until she'd tried to kill him a few times to make her point that she was unhappy with him.

If I'm lucky enough to go to Heaven, I know I'll see her again. She was a good girl and she will be missed.

I've fallen and I can't get up...

2006-06-19T15:03:00.000-05:00

..well at least not for 6-8 days. The power source on my computer has died and it will be 6-8 days for it to be repaired. We'll be back up and running soon and I'll try to do word only updates when I can "grab" a computer...but it will be sparse until then!

Sorry!

A good morning tickle

2006-06-17T07:29:00.000-05:00

Karaoke Queen!

2006-06-15T06:28:00.000-05:00

Don't tell our social worker, but we own a karaoke machine. I know, I know, she's ayoung defenseless child and we're exposing her to cheesey ripoffs of classic songs and bad singing...but it's FUN!!!

I run karaoke night every year at the academy and this year was no exception. As we were setting up and doing sound checks etc. before the event, Lydia lent a hand and her voice!

Living on the Edge

2006-06-13T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well posts have slowed down here and it's because we're "Living on the Edge". What is that you may ask? Well, it's me, Lydia and Russell living in a dorm room on campus with 12 teachers (some with their families) 6 RC's, a membership team of 4 a staff of 2 and 98 students all in a talented and gifted summer academy whose theme is "Living on the Edge." I'm teaching and working with the kids almost constantly...and when I'm not, I'm with "the fam". So far so good. I like my class I'm teaching on censorship and Lydia is adapting well. She had a rough couple of days at the beginning, but she's now starting to really "dig" her celebrity status as the only baby at the academy. She smiles and waves at everybody and everybody wants her to like them so bad they are willing to do anything to get her to smile at them. Living in a dorm room with a baby isn't bad at all. The only real pain is cafeteria lines at dinner. She has not yet developed her patience gland, so the line is hellish on us, her and those near her in line...but we cope. I'll try to keep the blog updated as best I can, but they really are working us like dogs here...ahhhh well only 2 1/2 weeks to go!

Lydia and I listen to Matt (one of the students) play an original composition. Many of the students here are extremely talented as well as intelligent.

Lydia is doing well living in the dorms. We've set up a portable crib and changing station and it's become her home away from home!

Guangxi June 2006: Dozens dead in record floods.

2006-06-09T12:24:00.000-05:00

Floods in southern China have killed at least 55 people and forced thousands more to evacuate their homes, official state media has reported.

The Xinhua news agency told how nine hours of torrential rain caused a series of landslides in Wuzhou, a city in the Guangxi region. Around 15,000 people had to leave the city as nearly 2,000 houses collapsed.

In Fujian province, also in the south, the bank of a rain-swollen river collapsed yesterday morning and flooded 11 villages while thousands of residents were still asleep, Xinhua said.

The disasters come amid what the government says is the worst summer flooding in parts of China in three decades.

More heavy rain has been predicted for the next two days in southern China, and local governments are preparing for mudslides and landslides.

Across southern China, at least 378,000 people have already been asked to leave the provinces of Fujian, Guangdong and Guizhou, the Ministry of Civil Affairs said.

China suffers hundreds of flood deaths each year during the summer monsoon season, although this year's first storm arrived unusually early.

Rivers overflow and water rushes down mountains stripped of trees by decades of farming and logging, often causing deadly landslides.

Announcement

2006-06-07T08:43:00.000-05:00

Kentucky - Russell and Lissa S***** of Houston, Texas and Hampton, Virginia announce the engagement of their daughter, Lydia S*****, to Christian A*****, son of Jonathan and Anne A***** of Nairobi, Kenya.

Miss S***** is currently attending Apple Tree Daycare (the 1 yr. room)where she shows a great interest in Music and Dance.

Mr. A****** is currently attending Apple Tree Daycare (the 3 yr. room) where he shows a great interest in Trucks and Soccor (football).

An April 2031 wedding is planned.

Honeymoon plans are still tentative.

:-)

Welcome to the family!

2006-06-02T16:22:00.000-05:00

"Howdy Genevive Marie! Welcome to the family! It's great to finally have a girl cousin. We must get together soon to "chat"."
--Lydia

Esther Williams need not worry!

2006-06-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

Notice the concerned look as daddy approaches with the hose...

Notice the lack of child in the filled pool...

Notice the lack of pool with a much happier child...

Yup...definately not gonna be the next Esther Williams!

Mommy aka "2 of 2"

2006-06-01T13:58:00.000-05:00

So while my folks were here visiting we gave Lydia a pop quiz.
"Where is Daddy?" and Lydia pointed to Russell.
"Where is Grandpa?" and Lydia pointed to my dad.
"Where is Grandma?" and Lydia pointed to my mom.

One by one, we went around the room identifying it's occupants with precision accuracy. She's a smart cookie afterall.

Then finally...

"Where is Lydia?" and Lydia pointed to herself.
Beaming with pride because she knew who everyone was Russell leans over and says you forgot to ask "Where is Mommy?"

You know where our girl points? To BOTH me and her. I laugh and ask her over..."Where is Mommy?" and she repeats the gesture of pointing to both of us. And I realize...oh...she means it. She thinks WE are mommy!

I sorta knew for a second what it was like to be Borg!!

"We are the Mommy. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. You will adapt to service us. Lower your shields and surrender. Resistance is futile."

I make the rockin' world go 'round!!

2006-05-31T16:28:00.000-05:00

Oh, yes...oh yes I do. Never doubt that. :-)

So, I've been a bit in the dumps recently. I know many good things going on--tenure, smart baby etc. But still I'm sick again. This is about my 5th sinus infection of the year and with it comes the antibiotics and with that...well ladies, you know what usually comes with antibiotics and it ain't no fun. Sooo as I said, I've been in the dumps here recently. But today I saw the light at the end of the tunnel in the form of Queen.

I was driving home from the grocery store with a huge bag of yogurt when suddenly I heard the opening strums of Fat Bottomed Girls (Also known as the love story of Lissa and Russell--he was after all a skinny underaged lad when I first got my thick mature hands on him! ;-)) And I realized...Lydia is not in the car!!

So I blasted it!! I haven't blasted my music in almost a year. I blasted it and began to scream at the top of my lungs "Get on your bikes and ride!!"

It was fun, it was freeing, it was theraputic.

So to all you new mommas out there feeling a bit in the dumps! GET ON YOUR BIKES AND RIDE!!!

I did and it was great!

Red Barn Gifts

2006-05-31T09:11:00.000-05:00

A local favourite Red Barn Gifts is a fun place to visit while in town. Lydia ran around and the family shopped. I, of course, took pictures. :-)

The entrance to Red Barn Gifts

Russell follows behind Lydia as she sets off exploring the farm.

Grandpa hold Lydia inside Red Barn Gifts.

Laura and Lydia pose beneath the archway leading to the Red Barn Farm.

Coming out of her shell

2006-05-31T08:25:00.000-05:00

As the visit progressed Lydia opened up more and more. Here she is napping on her Auntie Laura.

My Brother David, My Dad, My Aunt, My Uncle, My Sister Laura, me and My Mom in front

Warming up slowly

2006-05-31T06:38:00.000-05:00

Here's me encouraging Lydia not tobe scared of her Grandpa(my daddy). Liddy would eventually warm up to everyone...but she stuck pretty close to me the first couple of days.

This is my sister Laura with Lydia. Laura is really excited to be meeting Liddy for the first time. Liddy's just not as sure yet as you can tell by the expression on her face.

Failing her first test

2006-05-31T04:44:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna sorta combine some info here as they happened relatively about the same time and effect one another...so please be patient with this post. :-)

We recently had Lydia evaluated by a therapist for possible inclusion into the First Steps program. This is a program for children who are developmentally behind for whatever reason. It catches the children up and gets them back on track so they aren't delayed in their growth progress.

We were concerned. Lydia doesn't talk much. Mostly grunting and pointing go on at our house, with a good dose of hand gestures thrown in so mommmy knows which specific song Lydia wants her to sing. (Right now we are on a "Hot Potato" kick...please don't make me sing it for you...trust me, I sing it a lot and I know all the required hand movements to boot!)

Anyway, I digress. So, we had her evaluated. The evaluation took place in our home and consisted of questions for us, questions for her, observation and skills tests. As we watched, and participated we were so sure she was behind. So many of the things Jen did with Lydia, she just couldn't do. But then Jen reassured us, with a "Don't worry, what I've been doing is advanced for her age." And that confused us mightily. But what we would ultimately discover was remarkable and a little bit scary.

First let me cut the suspense, she failed the entrance exam. Let me tell you, as a parent, you're never so glad for your child to fail a test as this one!!

Second, not only did she fail, she failed big time. It seems our girl is advanced. She is ahead in most areas. She basically possesses the skills and cognative abilities of a 2 year old--so about 4-5 months ahead of the game. Not only that, she apparently has the memory of an elephant. There is no way to know for sure how far back she can remember...but Jen said to me she may actually remember China. (That would be over double what she should be able to recall at this age!)

Lastly, our girl is behind in one area...socially/emotionally. She basically is about 3-4 months behind here. While Jen didn't use this term, what that basically means is an attachment disorder. She is overly attached. Afraid of abandonment, she has extreme stranger anxiety. She doesn't reach out much to others beyond me and Russell. Hence the lack of speech. We "get" the grunts and the pointing, so she has no need to speak. So, basically Jen told us to act dumb and make her talk. And now, just a week and a half later, we much dumber parents have heard about 2 times the number of words. She's gone from about 8, to about 18 not including babysigns. Double, in just over a week. It's amazing what playing dumb can get ya! :-)

So...if that wasn't enough to make it a big week, Lydia also met my family for the first time. Day one was hard. Lydia clung to me big-time and just cried. Day two was a little easier, and each day she came out of her shell some more. By the end of their visit Lydia was letting my sister hold her for short periods and would approach and even kiss her grandparents. So even in the social/emotional area we got to see some progress this week.

P.S. I've tried 3 times to add pictures to this post..Blogger won't let me right now, so pictures will (hopefully) be forthcoming.

It's official

2006-05-28T06:22:00.000-05:00

I have tenure!

Handmedowns

2006-05-27T23:28:00.000-05:00

When I was a little girl I had a rocking chair. It was my chair my parents bought for me and I loved it. I would sit on it, stand on it, rock my dolls in it, etc.

Well my folks were here this week (more posts to soon follow) and when they came to meet their grand-daughter for the first time, they brought the rocker. It needs a little wood glue and you can still see the teething marks from it's previous owner (me), but otherwise it's in good shape.

Lydia loves it. She likes to sit on it, stand on it and rock her dolls in it. Some things never change huh?

Sharper than a razor. Brighter than the sun.

2006-05-25T19:26:00.000-05:00

Lydia did something remarkable today!

Usually we give her a bath before bedtime, but occassionally our schedule varies and so Lydia gets a morning "dip" instead. Completely disrobed, diaper and all, Lydia waited while we drew her bath. But nature called! So what did Lydia do? She went to her room, picked up a diaper, spread it on the floor crouched over it and relieved herself. Some spilled over onto the tiled hallway...but the point is...she knew. She knew she had to go, she knew she should go in the diaper and she thought about it enough to do something about it.

No one can ever call my baby a dummy, that's for sure!

Perpetual Bliss

2006-05-21T20:00:00.000-05:00

You can kiss me in the moonlight
On the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open
While the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion
Let’s let every thing slide
You got me floating, you got me flying

It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss

Ways in which parents will humiliate themselves in order to get baby to smile for a picture!

2006-05-21T19:41:00.000-05:00

Joke's on him, she never did smile!
:-) <--Here's a smile for you daddy.

Parktime=Funtime

2006-05-17T22:11:00.000-05:00

Lumps of Clay

2006-05-16T14:17:00.000-05:00

Take a lump of clay,
wet it, pat it.
Make a statue of you.
Make a statue of me.
Then shatter them,
clatter them.
Add some water,
and break them and mold them
into a statue of you
and into a statue of me.
Then in mine, are bits of you,
and in you, there are bits of me
Nothing shall ever keep us apart.
--Kuan Tao Sheng
(Sung Dynasty)

Mothers Day with "Little Bird"

2006-05-14T20:23:00.000-05:00

Biggest Wanter Ever Born

2006-05-14T19:31:00.000-05:00

I want, I ache, I aspire, I covet, I crave, I desiderate, I fancy, I hanker, I hunger, I incline toward, I itch for, I lech over, I long, I lust, I pine, I thirst, I wish, I yearn, I yen.

I like THINGS.

My dad told me many times I was born with an enlarged want gland. For awhile in my youth, I thought there really was a want gland, sorta like a sweat gland, but not as stinky. I grew to learn he was pulling my leg...but it still didn't make me want things any less.

That being said, this Mother's Day when hubby asked me what I wanted I had no answer for him. I have everything I want. (Well, besides the 87 million dollars...but I think even that's a bit much for me to ask for this year anyway.)So I told him I didn't really want anything.

Now hubby isn't a good shopper. He hates it. I am the shopper. So casting him adrift in a sea of merchandise with the task of getting me a mother's day present was kinda cruel...cause while I like things...I also don't like just anything.

But hubby did a great job this year. He met the challenge and conquered it. And I love my gifts.

My Gifts

Here are the flowers he got me. White lilies (my favourite) with purple and pink flowers. (Purple is my favourite colour.)

-and-

These twin pendants celebrate one of the most cherished bonds of all—that of a mother and daughter. The top pendant is mother-of-pearl and hand-carved with the Chinese characters for mother and daughter. Underneath, the English translation is etched in sterling silver.

From Mommy-Near to Mommy-Far

2006-05-14T13:55:00.000-05:00

Today is Mother's Day and sofar it's been just great. I've talked to my Mom and Russ has called his and I have received presents and enormous amounts love.

While I am happily being spoiled by those I love, I felt it was wrong to go through the day without remembering Lydia's Faraway Mommy. This woman, who I will likely never know, is a huge part of our lives and I felt it was appropriate and necessary to share with her a portion of this day. So here we are, balloons in hand with a picture of Lydia and a note from me attached. I know she will never get them...but one day, maybe Lydia will find her and get to meet her and hopefully Lydia will share with her the stories of going out every mother's day with Mommy-Near in order to honor Mommy-Far.

My Mother's Curse

2006-05-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

I'm worried.

You see, my mother pronounced a curse on me and my sister some 24-25 years ago when my sister was pregnant with my nephew Lewis. I wanted Laura to have a girl. Not because I didn't want her to have a boy, but honestly because I liked the name Teresa more than I liked the name Lewis. And my mom (who ALWAYS gets baby genders right...it's spooky) said that it was destined that Laura would have a rough and tumble boy and I would have a sweet well behaved girl.
We both laughed...we were young and naive...but lo and behold Laura gave birth to Lewis and he was rough and he tumbled.
I took to him immediately. I have never met another soul on this planet more like me. He was my male counterpart and I "got" him. Laura...God Bless Her...is a great mom to Lew.

Now I have Lydia. She is the sweet well behaved girl mom told me I would have. And wow...is she well behaved. You say no and she stops. And you know what? I rarely have to say no. So my question...is this gonna be who she is forever? Part of me hopes so. She is sooooo easy. But this other part of me is like, comeon...FIGHT ME!!

Is that weird or what?

I'm worried...but not so much about Lydia. Mostly about my own good judgement. :-)

..and now a word from our sponsor

2006-05-08T08:20:00.000-05:00

Okay, there isn't really a sponsor...but I am endorsing something here. I do not work for this company and I am receiving nothing for doing this...only the satisfation about helping other busy moms who haven't tried this yet.

I LOVE NETFLIX!!

I just joined recetnly and they are great. Russell and I used to go to the movies all the time and now with baby...well let's just say in almost 7 months I've been once and he hasn't been at all. Going to the video store sounds like an obvious solution because all those movies we wanted to see months ago are now out, right?

Wrong!

Why?

Because Lydia has her own ideas about our suppossed free time. We get all hunkered down with popcorn and milkduds and suddenly Lydia is crying.

The number of times one of us said to the other, "Just pause it until I come back." and then never returned is difficult to estimate because I never learned to count that high.

With Netflix. No late fees. We can pause and start again 2 days later. Same flat fee no matter how much or how litte we watch. And ultimately when you factor in late fees...we pay a lot less and see a lot more.

NETFLIX! Tell 'em Lissa sent ya! ;-)

Cause it's been awhile since you've seen her!

2006-05-07T19:55:00.000-05:00

When Bunnies Go BAD

2006-05-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged a lot here lately. Not because I've lost interest in my "hobby" but because I've been spending a lot of time at the hospital. Lydia has been sick this week. High fever forced us into a midnight emergency room visit Monday morning where, even though she had a fever of almost 104, we were poo-pooed and told we were over-reacting. Without looking at her throat or doing any blood work, they administed our girl a heavy dose of Motrin and sent us home. After a weekend of high fever (seemingly due to her shots having been administed on Friday) we were glad that by Monday night we had a fever free child.

Unfortunately though, this was NOT the end.

Now, my girl isn't perfect. She's not always happy and she can throw a fit when the occassion calls, but overall she's a pretty upbeat kid. She likes to smile and laugh and it takes a lot to to ruffle her feathers. But this week she was cranky. Fever over, I decided it was because her daddy's schedule had changed for the week. Working second shift to cover for an employee who was taking exams neither one of us saw much of Russell. She wanted to be held constantly and sleep? Well lets just say, she got "some" and I got none.

I finally decided even though I was poo-pooed we needed to go back to the doctor. She wasn't "right". I didn't know this child anymore and her mood swings were extreme and always unexpected. She could be laughing one second and then the next be crying for an hour insisting to be held...while hitting me repeatedly to "get away".

So I made an appointment with Lydia's regular Doctor, Dr. Tara.

I LOVE DR. TARA!!!!

She is sweet and kind and loving with the babies. She looks for "bad bunnies" in Lydia's ears, throat and tummy and listens to what is going on. She never makes you feel stupid and she is understanding about overprotective new moms. She has gone from knowing almost nothing about the needs of internationally adopted children (before we brought Lydia home) to being well versed about Chinese growth charts and health concerns facing Asians. She heard about our emergency room experience and shook her head. She discovered Lydia has croup, a viral disease that effects the esophogas and larynx causing extreme discomfort. Again, there isn't much we can do for our girl but make her more comfortable...but I am thankful for Dr. Tara. She loves her patients and honestly this patient's mommy loves her back!

Children of Guangxi

2006-05-01T20:58:00.000-05:00

Hollywood star Brandon Fraser announces he will do a movie called Children of Guangxi in China, with director Roger Spottiswoode.

He made the announcement at a promotion event Saturday in Shanghai.

Set in Shanghai in 1937, the film is about a journalist who ignores the Japanese invasion but later has a change of heart after witnessing the Nanjing Massacre. Afterwards, he travels south to Guangxi Province, leading war orphans to safety.

The film may also cast Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh. The script is written by Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby).

Brandon Fraser also mentioned a script for the third Mummy exists but that he was not allowed to announce it officially. He said he was expecting part for the movie, which will be shot in China.

Best of Three Falls

2006-04-30T20:18:00.000-05:00

"Hey Dad! Wanna Wrestle?"

"Hey no fair zerberting my neck!!!"

"Gotta be quicker than that to hold on to me Daddy!"

Why I'm a Chrissie Hynde Fan

2006-04-30T19:13:00.000-05:00

I love music. I quote it all the time here on my blog and I listen to it almost constantly. I have songs I love and have always loved and artists who have consistantly moved me. Chrissie Hynde is one of those artists. She's not my favourite performer, but she is one I have admired and enjoyed for over 2 decades. I liked her when I was 16 and she was singing about Brass in Pocket and Tattooed Love Boys...but as I mother my child...her words resonate in a way I never thought they could. Also a mother, Chrissie heard her heart about her child and was able to put her heart into words. I lack that skill...but I do know exactly how she feels. And I wish to share her words which mirror my feelings with you.

MY BABY

I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME
THAT'S ALL I WANT FROM YOU
I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME
ONE DAY

I KNOW I'M A PEASANT
DRESSED AS A PRINCESS
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE
TO TAKE MY CLOTHES AWAY

IF I COULD SHOW YOU
SOME HAPPINESS
THEN I WOULD FEEL
LIKE A REAL PRINCESS
THAT TO ME WOULD BE SUCCESS
MY BABY

I SEEN YOU DANCIN'
A NATURAL BEAUTY
YOU MAKE THIS DIVE
SEEM SUBLIME
YOU REALLY GET
TO THE HEART OF THE MUSIC
YOU'RE THE POETRY OF TIME

IF THERE'S A METHOD
TO WRITING A SONG
HOW COME I'M GETTING IT WRONG
YOU WRITE THE BEAUTIFUL SONGS
BABY

C'MON, C'MON, C'MON BABY
TAKE MY HAND
C'MON, C'MON, C'MON SHOW ME
TO THE LOVE LAND

CAN THIS REALLY HAPPEN
IN THIS DAY AND AGE
SUDDENLY
TO JUST TURN THE PAGE
LIKE WALKING ON STAGE
MY BABY

--and--

SHOW ME

SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
'CAUSE I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT IT
THEY SAY YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT

WELCOME TO THE HUMAN RACE
WITH ITS WARS, DISEASE AND BRUTALITY
YOU WITH YOUR INNOCENCE AND GRACE
RESTORE SOME PRIDE AND DIGNITY
TO A WORLD IN DECLINE

WELCOME TO A SPECIAL PLACE
IN A HEART OF STONE THAT'S COLD AND GREY
YOU WITH YOUR ANGEL FACE
KEEP THE DESPAIR AT BAY
SEND IT AWAY, AND

SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
'CAUSE I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT IT
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT IT
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITHOUT IT
OH, I WANT LOVE, I WANT LOVE, I WANT LOVE

WELCOME HERE FROM OUTER SPACE
THE MILKY WAY STILL IN YOUR EYES
YOU FOUND YOURSELF A HOPELESS CASE
ONE SEEKING PERFECTION ON EARTH
THAT'S SOME KIND OF REBIRTH, SO

SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
SHOW ME THE MEANING OF THE WORD
'CAUSE I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT IT
DON'T MAKE ME LIVE WITHOUT IT
DON'T MAKE ME LIVE WITHOUT IT
OH, LOVE, I WANT LOVE, I WANT LOVE, I WANT LOVE

Less than 100%

2006-04-29T19:09:00.000-05:00

Shots do it to her everytime. Lydia has been down for the count most of the day. I'm really glad we don't have to give her shots again until she's four...because each time she's had her shots she's reacted badly the next day. Most of today was spent holding and hydrating. She ate some, but mostly all Lydia wanted today was her woobie and to be held.

No more til four

2006-04-28T18:47:00.000-05:00

Lydia got her last series of shots today that she needs to have to be all caught up until her fourth birthday. She is cranky and sore, but otherwise doing well. She has grown. She is 31 inches long 22 and pounds 11 ounces heavy...this puts her in between the 25-50 percentile in height and the 25 percentile in weight. Her head is 44 centimeters placing her in th 10 percentile for head circumfrunces. This i up from being at the 3 at referal and the 5 at 15 months. She is healthy and well and developmentally on target or ahead in all areas except spoken language where she is making leaps daily as well.

Creating more art

2006-04-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's not art, I'm just playing with my new camera's bells and whistles...but the beauty of the subject is undeniable.

6 strange things about me

2006-04-26T22:06:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged. So here we go...

1) I am very very shy. I tend to avoid social gatherings, but when forced to attend I am usually the one holding up the wall. Most people think I would be the exact opposite as I get up in front of people to lecture and can be pretty lively at rehearsals, but get me in a social situation and I become a clam.

2) I am afraid of ice. Not like ice in a drink...but on the ground. I have a phobia about falling and ice makes people go boom.

3) I have a zombie contingency plan. I know exactly what I will do when and if the zombies attack. Often times Russell and I will be out and I will look at him and suddenly yell..."zombie drill". At which point we must outline what we would do if we saw a zombie at that exact time and place with the resources at hand. Then we compare notes and see who came up with the better plan. I ALWAYS win!!

4)Some people have kidney stones. I have salivary stones. I have passed them twice in my life. They hurt like the dickens and the two times I've passed them, it's taken about a week. (Horrible pain--I hate them!!)

5) I very rarely see theatre. Again this sounds wrong since theatre is what I do for a living. But the fact of the matter is I do theatre for a living so I have no time to SEE theatre as I'm usually DOING theatre. Also because I do theatre for a living I rarely have money enough to see shows. Theatre people aren't paid squat.

6) I'm very pro strict gun control...but I'm a great shot. Boyfriend previous to Russell used to belong to a gun club and he'd take me shooting with him and our mutual friends. The first time I went with them I'd never shot anything but arrows at bullseye targets previous. When we went to the range I shot and when they looked at my silhoutte my friend Carl told me I'd done pretty well for the first time, but that I was shooting too high as I kept hitting the head instead of the center of mass. To which I responded "Oh...I wasn't suppossed to be aiming for the head?" Carl told me he was glad I was on his side. In my defense...one of the few ways to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain...and the only thing I'd ever shoot, besides a piece of paper, is a zombie...hence my misunderstanding about what my target should be!! :-)

Eccentricities

2006-04-25T09:29:00.000-05:00

1) Helicopters are COOL!

2) Dinners over? Dinners on the floor! (Or in my hair!)

3) I must wear shoes...I know I'm off to bed, but I must have my shoes on even with my PJ's!

4) Let me suck on this cracker and then I will try to feed it to you mom. It's better when it's moist!

5) I know you SAY we're eating the exact some thing mom, but I have a sneaking suspicion your's tastes better, so give it here!

6) But food tastes better when I stand and eat it!

7) Why is mommy trying to put me to sleep? That's daddy's job!

8) Sing it again mom...and again..and again...and again...and again...and again...and again...and again.

9) I know I'm not gonna play with it, but it gets lonely being in the toy box!

10) Hey, look what the cat does when I pull it's tail!! Why's he running away???? WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Fun with Juice Boxes!

2006-04-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

I was at a faculty retreat this weekend, so Russell took care of the baby. That meant lots of fast food for meals. (I've given up in this area...K-Sarah Sarah as my sister would jokingly say.) So here's Liddy in her first rehearsal for how to react to an exploding champagne bottle. :-)

What it's really all about!

2006-04-23T03:59:00.000-05:00

A letter from the president

2006-04-23T03:03:00.000-05:00

Nope, not the President of the United States, the president of the University. While I don't have the official "rubber stamped" approval of the Board of Regents I have jumped what many people consider to be the real final hurdle of the process; the president's office. I passed every committee with flying colours and now await final approval from the BOR. In the history of my university the board has never turned down approval if they have received the green light from the president's office...so I am feeling pretty confident. I think it's actually gonna happen.

When I started in higher ed as an adjunct in 1994--it became my goal to be an assistant professor and have tenure. It was a dream really. An achievable dream--but a dream none the less. I was thrilled when I became a full time lecturer in 1996 and even more thrilled when I was promoted to an Assistant Prof in 2000. I was thrilled, but also terrified. It was time to "prove myself". A woman director in the south who, yes does do children's theatre, but not primarily is an uncommon entity. Women are often subjugated to the role of director of children while seemingly "more substantial" and serious work is given to men. I did children's theatre and still do children's theatre not as a consolation, but because it IS substantial and it hasa very important place in my heart...but I also do Shakespeare, Euripides, Shepard, Friel, Opera, Musical Theatre, Experimental Theatre, etc. Because it too is in my heart. I do more than what many women are allowed, because I don't want to be limited. I do it because I don't have to be limited. I do it because I WON'T be limited. I have been very fortunate to have a Chair who believes in me. A chair who wanted me to succeed and who gave me opportunities to prove myself. And now with tenure...comes a word I have longed to hear for a long time. Freedom.

For those of you still waiting

2006-04-20T08:28:00.000-05:00

Waiting for a Star to Fall

I hear your name whispered on the wind
It's a sound that makes me cry
I hear a song blow again and again
Through my mind and I don't know why
I wish I didn't feel so strong about you
Like happiness and love revolve around you

Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
So many people love you baby
That must be what you are

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah

I've learned to feel what I cannot see
But with you I lose that vision
I don't know how to dream your dream
So I'm all caught up in superstition
I want to reach out and pull you to me
Who says I should let a wild one go free

Trying to catch your heart
Is like trying to catch a star
But I can't love you this much baby
And love you from this far

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah

Waiting (however long...)
I don't like waiting (I'll wait for you...)
It's so hard waiting (don't be too long...)
Seems like waiting (makes me love you even more...)

Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arms
That's where you belong
In my arms baby, yeah

Double Bagged for Your Safety

2006-04-19T21:19:00.000-05:00

I assure you I wasn't so tired I got confused and diapered the baby AFTER I clothed her. This was all of Lydia's own doing. She has figured out how to diaper herself! While I was putting away her bath stuff this is what happened. I thought it was so cute, I let her wear it around for awhile. (Besides...this is great blackmail material for once she gets older! "Lydia do the dishes or mommy will pull out the double diaper picture and show your friends!!" Muuuuuuuhahahaha!!!)

Getting "Artsy Fartsy"

2006-04-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

Q: What do you do when you have a great pose, but it's overexposed cause you left the flash on by accident?

A: MAKE ART!! :-)

News from China April 2006

2006-04-17T21:10:00.000-05:00

Almost 24 Million Still Without by Michael Zhao
According to the midterm result released by the Office of Poverty Prevention of the State Council on its "Rural Poverly PreventionDevelopment Plan 2001-2010," there arestill 23.7 million Chinesewho don't have enough to eat and wear, a decrease of 5.6 million in five years. The number of low-income population, earning 683-944RMBa yea year ($85-$118 a year American) is 40.7 million, or 20 million less than five years ago.

8 out ot 10 women feel discrimination from potential employers by Michael Zhao
Eight oout of ten graduation college females said they were discriminated against in therjob-hunting, accordingto the survey by the Ministyof Labor and Social Security on students in Beijing and Nanjing. Ninely percent of the surveyed students said they had heard about the recruiting discrimination.
A draft of a new law, aiming to promote employment and address issues of discrimination,has already gone to the Legal Office of the State Council, China's cabinet for deliberation.

The Stones Rock China, but hold the Brown Sugar by Mo Ming
After nearly 30 years of trying, the world's most famous rock band finally made it to the world's largest country, as the Rolling Stones brought thei show to a small stage in China's biggest city.
The Concert, a late addition to the band's Biggest Bang world tour, was the productof long negotiations adnumerous compromises: from thevenue, a diminutive 8,000-seat indoor arena, the the songs allowed by Chinese censors.
The five songs reported to have been banned were "Brown Sugar," "Beast of Burden," "Lets Spend the Night Together," "Honkey Tonk Women" and "Rough Justice," a song from their new album. All the songs listed were removed from the Chinese version of the band's greatest hits album in 2003.

The AVERAGE income of a Chinese citizen in US dollars

2006-04-17T19:28:00.000-05:00

Finance, Insurance--1440
Real estate--1288
Transportation, Telecom--1171
Social service--1157
Research, Technology--1091
Education, Entertainment--1086
Government--1046
Utility--1044
Construction--1003
Health, Sports, Charity--942
Lumber--933
Retail, Restaurant--926
Steel--916
Manufacturing--910
Textile--909
Machinery, Manufacturing--908
Mining--908
Farming--801
Others--920

(Data collected by the State Statistical Bureau of China.)

Not black and white

2006-04-16T20:50:00.000-05:00

60 minutes did a report tonight about the growing gender imbalance in China. In the report they focused on China's one child policy. They stated the policy was draconian and they implied that it's only purpose was to further China's economic growth in order to secure thier position as a world superpower. They discussed the fact that women were having abortions as late as the 9th month of preganacy to weed out female children in order to try again to have a male child. They discussed how girls were being kidnapped or bought (for approximately $8 American) to be raised as slave brides. The painted a grim picture of an unfeeling nation.

They neglected to mention the average income for a family in China is approximately $1500 American...and that many famlies in the west will only make about $100 American a year. They forgot to mention the desperation of a people who live in a country where just over half of the land is inhabitable. They failed to mention the millions of citizens who do not have enough food to feed themselves and their families. They didn't share with us how many lives were saved by the one child policy--a number that exceeds hundreds of millions of people.

Tonight they painted a picture of a country who let foreigners come wisk away 12,000 of their girls a year without discussing the fact that almost half of those children would die before they were 12 years old if they hadn't found homes.

60 minutes presented a very black situation tonight. But the world is very rarely black and white.

Easter Sunday

2006-04-16T09:05:00.000-05:00

"Oh Wow! Lot's of cool stuff in here!"

"Are you sure that's it? I thought I saw some more candy!"

"I told ya there was some more candy in here!"

"The Easter Bunny sure was good to me!"

"MMMMMM MMMMMM GOOOD! Candy for Breakfast!!"

Easter is on it's way!!

2006-04-16T08:33:00.000-05:00

Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,
Hippity, hoppity,
Easter's on its way.

Bringin' every girl and boy Baskets full of Easter joy,
Things to make your Easter bright and gay.
He's got jelly beans for Tommy,
Colored eggs for sister Sue,
There's an orchid for your Mommy
And an Easter bonnet, too.

Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,
Hippity hoppity,
Happy Easter day.

Here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,
Look at him stop,
and listen to him say:
"Try to do the things you should."
Maybe if you're extra good,
He'll roll lots of Easter eggs your way.

You'll wake up on Easter morning
And you'll know that he was there
When you find those choc'late bunnies
That he's hiding ev'rywhere.

Oh! here comes Peter Cottontail,
Hoppin' down the bunny trail,
Hippity hoppity,
Happy Easter day.

(I know a little girl who is in for a BIG surprise!)

Girls Global Education Fund

2006-04-15T21:49:00.000-05:00

I am a teacher. I believe that all people can benefit from learning. An education can help a person have a better life. It is why I teach. My life was made better through my education, and I hope to help others have a better life as well. That is why I sponsor a girl from Desheng.
Wei Jing is my foster daughter. She lives in Desheng. Her mother ran away and left her and her sister several months ago. Without the help of Girls Global Education Fund, Wei Jing would be forced to leave school. But through this organization and our financial help she is going to school. I hope for her a good life. She deserves it.

For more information and to sponsor a girl please visit, http://www.ggef.org

On the mend and feelin' poorly

2006-04-13T21:42:00.000-05:00

First, the good news. Lydia is starting to feel better. Her fever was practically non-existant today and she is still cautious about taking food, but is eating solids. She still has a coat on her tongue, but all the blisters seem to be fading.
Now the bad news. Russell and I both called our parents to see if we ever had Coxsachie and both sets of folks said no. So far, I'm okay. But Russell is out for the count. It's gonna be a long weekend!!

Sunset Blvd.

2006-04-12T18:35:00.000-05:00

Forever

2006-04-11T20:49:00.000-05:00

Today is our 6th month anniversary. For half a year we've been a family. For a third of her life she has been our daughter.

There are so many conflicting feelings about 6 months. It seems like it just happened yesterday and we're still just trying to figure it all out. It also seems like she's always been here and I can't really remember what life was like without her.

She is so different in so many ways, and yet she is still that same sweet little girl who likes to laugh and play and be entertained. I wonder if she remembers the two thirds of her life before mommy and daddy. Most of the triggers are now gone. Bells no longer cause hysterics, standing up doesn't mean your are leaving her behind. She no longer hesitates and wonders if we will love her. It's just a given. Mommy and Daddy love her and that is the way it is--she knows we are forever.

The first of many I'm sure

2006-04-10T14:31:00.000-05:00

Lydia is sick. Oh, I know, she's been sick before, but this is her first commonly caught by childrens disease that can be checked off a list. She has Coxsackievirus, commonly known as Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. We caught it pretty early...our doctor was actually pretty impressed with how quickly we noticed that "not all was right" in the world of Lydia.
For those of you unfamiliar with the disease...it's kinda like Strep Throat except it is untreatable. FUN. That means we just gotta ride it out. She is so tired and so hungry. But she won't eat because her throat is mad raw and sleeping is only something she does at the point of utter exhaustion for the same reason.
It kills me to see her crying. I hold her...and I try to soothe her. But she's just misreable. Then suddenly she's totally okay...then she's misreable again. Suffice it to say, it's gonna be a looooooong 5 days for her. I just hope I can make her as comfortable as possible.

BTW:The picture in not of Lydia. It's just coincidental the child in the picture is Asian. Those blisters are found in the mouth and on the hands and feet of the patient. Lydia has some on her throat and is beginning to show them on her tongue. She only has one on her hand so far--but this morning she had none on her tongue...so who knows what it will look like by tonight. My poor baby!!

Nature sucks, but here are some pictures of it anyway.

2006-04-10T09:53:00.000-05:00

I am not "outdoorsy". Not even a little. I like it inside. I am not into tanning, or sweating or insects. I am not into gardening, picnics, camping or any other outdoor activity. I like the theatre. It's dark, it's cold and weird people like me hang out there. But...I got this bitchin' cool new camera see and I wanted to take pictures and Lydia gets cranky about being the "subject" constantly. Plus...well, she moves. And well...I'm not as good with moving as I am with still. And nature...while it sucks, does pose. :-)

Hold me closer "Tiny Dancer"

2006-04-09T20:09:00.000-05:00

Lydia loves music. She loves to dance. Lydia loves to move. She isn't a big talker yet...still less than 10 words...she prefers to communicate with her body. She has signs that mean all sorts of different things...and these are all signs she taught us. We didn't do the baby sign language thing...but I really wish we had, because I think she'd be "talking" up a storm if we had.

Here she is outside requesting something. This sign means "Mommy please sing to me". She really likes "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and that's where this particular sign came from. She knows all the movements and does them all as I sing. But Itsy Bitsy is usually just where I get started! We move on to other songs with movement quickly, so she can dance and play.

"Twinkle twinkle little star..."

"His name is my name too..."

"Can you point your fingers and do the twist?"

Our "Tiny Dancer" doing what she does best!

Playing with my new camera

2006-04-08T22:28:00.000-05:00

Momma got a new camera forher birthday and her favourite subject is named Lydia!
Still have a lot to learn, but I definately think my picture quaility has improved!

Unsafe at any speed

2006-04-08T10:35:00.000-05:00

Lydia has learned how to drive! Well...not exactly...but she's definatley having fun with her mermaid truck. I do worry though...I mean seriously, not only is she backwards she's talking on her cell phone!! I think we may be putting off that learners permit for as loooooooong as possible.

HONK! HONK!

She's definately not gonna get any insurance driving this way!

The cats wisely "hide out"while Lydia is on the road.

Perfection

2006-04-05T06:35:00.000-05:00

The Wealth Gap (The rural perspective as reported by the BBC) 4/4/06

2006-04-04T08:38:00.000-05:00

Mrs Jin, Ningxia Province
"We don't understand matters of the state - we have to concentrate on making a living, on finding enough money to eat. We don't have time to pay any attention to politics."

Qin Guiying, Ningxia Province
"My husband died a long time ago so I brought up my children myself. My son died in a car accident. I have two grandchildren and I live in an old sun-dried mud house.
I have no money. The government gave us aid once three years ago, but never again. We cannot compare our lives to those who live in the city. I have no choices."

Wang Ran, Guizhou Province
"The agricultural tax is high. Government officials say they are going to reduce the rural taxes, but they haven't and we don't know when they will.
If they did reduce our taxes, that would really change our lives. We are so poor because there is no development here.
The government does give aid but for some reason there is hardly any allocated to this area. I have no way to buy fertilizer. We need economic help."

Tan Huijue, Guizhou Province
"We have a huge burden: we are really poor. If I could choose a place to live, I would choose Guiyang [the provincial capital].
I certainly hope our place could develop faster. But the government has no ability to help us. We are so poor here."

Yao Min, Guizhou Province
"Both our children have left the village to work in the cities. The central government leaders just care about themselves - not about the masses, not about the people.
The local officials only pay attention to the one child policy, so that they can collect fines from those who have more than one child.
If families don't have enough money to pay, they take things from their houses. If we become sick this will be a disaster for the family."

News from China April 4, 2006

2006-04-04T08:13:00.000-05:00

"Not One Less" -- China offers free compulsory education to rural children
Wu Bingbing, a poor rural middle school student in east China's Jiangxi Province, was overjoyed at the good news that he wouldn't need to worry about tuition any more.

He heard the news from the principal of his school, as he is ill-informed about events at the ongoing annual parliamentary session in Beijing.

The central government has decided to scrap charges for rural students during their nine-year compulsory education by the end of 2007. The decision makes it possible for Wu's poverty-stricken family to save 250 yuan (31 U.S. dollars), equivalent to 10 percent of its annual income.

The 14-year-old is one of the 160 million rural students to benefit from the new policy. They make up 80 percent of the country's 200 million primary and junior high school students.

"After 20 years of teaching in the countryside, I am sure that this will put an end to our bitterness," said Zhang Zhou'ai, principal of the village-run Chengmen Junior High School in Jiujiang County of Jiangxi Province.

Chengmen Village is one of the poorest in Jiangxi Province, with the locals' per capita annual income averaging less than 2,000 yuan (250 U.S. dollars).

Zhang's school has 450 students. They sit at shabby desks in ramshackle classrooms that do little to protect them from the wind and rain, read coarsely printed textbooks that are beyond the imagination of their urban peers, and play at the small playground that is often too muddy for exercise.

Even such a school is not affordable for every family.

"We've got only 91 third-year students left this spring semester," said Zhang. "More than 10 students dropped out to find temporary jobs. Their parents are often too poor to finance any further schooling."

The Ministry of Education said the dropout rate was zero among primary and junior middle school students in Chinese cities in 2004. In the countryside, however, the ratios were 2.45 percent among primary school pupils and 3.91 percent among junior middle school students.

In the more impoverished regions in central and western China, the percentage topped 5 percent.

"Our ultimate goal is help all school-age children finish at least nine years of education, but it's a tough job," said Zhang.

In the award-winning film "Not One Less" in 1999, Chinese director Zhang Yimou portrayed a temporary school teacher who exerted her utmost to keep each of her students at school. "Not One Less" has since been China's long-term goal in providing rural children equal access to education.

But the task has proved arduous in China's vast countryside, which has traditionally been in a disadvantaged position in terms of education facilities, spending and other resources available to its rural population of 900 million.

Education Minister Zhou Ji said the irrational distribution of educational resources has widened the gap between the rural and urban areas in recent years.

Government spending on the educational sector in Shanghai, China's largest metropolitan, was 50 times as much as what was reported in the central agricultural province of Henan last year, according to the Ministry of Education.

In 1998, however, the gap was 10 times, it said.

"Lack of spending is a major hindrance to the development of rural education," said Zhang Zhou'ai, the junior high school principle in Jiangxi.

"The central government's commitment to providing free compulsory education to rural kids and increasing education spending in rural areas is undoubtedly a boon," said Zhang. "We plan to build a new campus this year with spacious, brightly-lit classrooms."

The draft amendment to China's Law on Compulsory Education, aiming to ensure a stable investment system for rural education, has been tabled to lawmakers at the ongoing annual parliament session.

The draft amendment, which outlines the responsibilities of central and local governments in financing rural schools, is expected to lift the educational burden of poverty-stricken rural families and to give rural children equal opportunities as their peers in cities.

China enacted the law on compulsory education in 1986, freeing students from tuition fees in six-year primary school and three-year junior high school studies.

But families in some rural areas were burdened with heavy "educational expenses," including the costs of textbooks, heating and transportation, as local governments could not set aside enough budget for education.

Source: Xinhua

"You say it's your birthday!"

2006-04-03T22:13:00.000-05:00

"Well, it's my birthday too!!"
(Gotta love The Beatles!)

Mamma got a new camera.

The fruits of playing with my new present.

But this was my favourite present by far!

Random acts of violence

2006-04-03T19:51:00.000-05:00

It's hard work to be the mommy!

Red skies at night...

2006-04-03T06:27:00.000-05:00

...sailors delight. Red skies in morning, sailors take warning. Well, this is a night shot, but we still took warning. We were lucky. No tornados. (Have I mentioned recently how I hate living in tornado country??) We did get big electrical storm though, and some hail. No major damage though, and Lydia slept through the whole thing.