Forgiveness

Well, it was bound to happen. We've had our first Baby/Kitty incident. The strange thing is...it was a moment that I totally did not see coming. I mean the cats have been curious around her and she's been curious around them. Lots of mutual "checking out", and even a little tail pulling (Lydia pulling the cat's tails not the cats pulling hers. LOL)...but the cats have just sorta understood that this was their new mommy and to leave her alone no matter what. Well yesterday Lydia was playing happily with her elephant...she had just gotten settled down from the whole "I just got home from daycare I must run from Mom to Dad over and over" thing and was happily making her elephant trumpet while Daddy and I discussed the mound of paperwork we had to fill out from the daycare. All the way across the room Roxanne sits on the loveseat...she was being teased by OZ (our "energetic" cat) and suddenly she freaked and leapt across the room...not meaning to land anywhere in particular, she was just trying to get away from Oz. Well she landed...on top of Lydia's head. Seriously, direct hit on the baby. I think if she'd aimed for Lydia she couldn't have made that direct a hit. Well Lydia froze...but Roxanne freaked and used her face as a launch pad to the dining room. I screamed...Lydia screamed...Russell jumped. I ran for the baby...Russell ran for me...and then the scratch became very apparent. 3 1/2 inches of it across that beautiful perfect face. I wanted to kill Roxanne. Not figuratively either. Now, my family and friends know me well. I am the cat lady freak who loves animals and especially loves my animals...but Roxie if she had come within my grasp for that 1/2 hour would have been done for. Lydia is fine...her scratch is very superficial...it is already healing and will not scar. (We doctored it BIGTIME!) She happily went back into play mode within 5 minutes. Mommy had to have the cats "removed" for awhile while she and Daddy discussed options like killing the cats, which quickly calmed to the discussion of having them removed from our home, then finally settled down to real discussions about declawing or possibly having caps put on their nails. We are still discussing our options...but last night I was angry. I was angry at Roxanne for hurting Lydia, angry at Oz for freaking out Roxanne, angry at Russell for not ever letting me have them rear declawed, angry at me for having so many cats in the first place...but I think what I was most angry at now (as light of day hits)is the realization that I can't always protect her...things will happen I don't see coming. The world, as safe as I try to make it for her, will remain the world and I have no ability to stop "the forces of nature". When I realized that...I got a little older. I got a little wiser and I was able to forgive Roxanne, Oz, Russell and Myself. But I feel I lost a little innocence last night. While that's kinda sad...it's also a good thing to understand.