Stuff I wonder about while eating lunch at my desk...
...as I sit here at my desk at work eating my tuna fish and cottage cheese I think about Lydia and adoption a lot. I wonder things like what she's doing at daycare and does she KNOW Russ and I are coming to get her at the end of the day. I wonder if I talk about her background too much with people. I wonder if she'll like her Christmas presents and if I got her enough or too many. I wonder how her mouth feels as she is cutting 3 teeth at once and she was miserable last night. I wonder if Russell and I will ever spend an entire night together in same bed again. (Last night it was me...tonight it's him as I have auditions and will NOT be in a state to deal with her.) I wonder if we will actually get out to Paducha to see Santa in time for Christmas. I wonder IF I should take her to see Santa as being held by people other than me or Russell upsets her so much. I wonder if she's ever gonna grow hair...cause I really want her to grow hair! I wonder if she's happier living with us, or having lived in Desheng. I wonder if she'll be upset because mommy has to work both tonight and tomorrow night. I wonder how Russell and I are gonna deal with February when his schedule changes and I'm still in rehearsals until the 12th. I wonder if they are feeding her beans at daycare again cause I forgot to ask them not to as they gave her bad gas last time. I wonder if the cats will ever forgive me for adopting Lydia and if I'll ever get to play with them again. I wonder what she's gonna think about this blog when she gets older and if she'll understand why I did it. I wonder if I'm a good mom...because it's really all I want to be anymore. I wonder if Russell wonders all this kinda stuff too. And I wonder where all the time went as it's time for me to get back to work now.
5 Comments:
you don't have to wonder if you are a good mom. Read what you just wrote. You are wondering if she is okay, caring about her feelings, protective of her well being,Loving her more then any 2 people will ever love her.
You answered your own question.
I agree with Linda. The things that make you a good mom are listed above - plus tons more that aren't. You are a great mom and Russell a great daddy...you embarked on this journey and committed yourself to the life of this little girl. I think it's outstanding and I love checking in to see what's new.
You're doing a great job!
xoxo
Susan
You make me laugh!!! I can just picture you, staring off into space 'wondering', while chewing your sandwich slowly!!! I think at some stage we all wonder the exact same things - and I guess we'll never really know all the answers...but at the end of the day - it doesn't matter!
Thanks for sharing.
Lee-Anne
Ha! You're a mom
...it's funny because I was wondering if you wrote that to be ironic or if you wrote it to be serious. You wrote down all these worries..and then asked if you were a good mom.
Heck! That's what makes a good mom. It's embedded in us to worry like that.
And things change in your marriage....but you'll find you will find a new "groove" together and eventually you will sleep together again:) [Hard to believe, but true as we are on number 2 and doing the same thing...not sleeping together again!]
That first year is tough, but if you support each other, and love your daughter together, it strengthens your love for one another.
Good mom? I've been following your blog and I think you're a GREAT mom!
Your post brought a few tears to my eyes because next year when we have Lauren, I'll be heading back to work full-time after about 3 months. I'm already thinking of all the worries I'm going to have while she is away from us at daycare.
I don't know if you work full-time, but I can only imagine how difficult it is to leave Lydia at daycare. As excited as I am about becoming a mom next year, this is the one thing that weighs really heavily on my mind.
I hope it is working out ok for you so far.
Donna :)
www.waitingforlaurenelizabeth.blogspot.com
Post a Comment
<< Home